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  • Writer's pictureMellissa Briley

Stumbled into my Secrets

Date: November 4, 2017
Location: Pagrati, Athens
Pain Level: 4 (yesssss!)

“Mellissa mou, you look beautiful today” Ada surprised me with her words and my eyes filled with tears.

I had been thinking about last night's dream, revisiting every detail, playing it over in my head as if I could manifest the sweet kindness of it into reality. But there I was, sitting outdoors at Ada’s favorite bar, lighting a cigarette with little rain drops clinging to the lemon trees above, falling into my hair.

God, I miss him.

Being it was my last day in Athens, Ada had insisted coming here. And after more drinks then planned, conversation turned into deep talks that led to confessions of fears and realities that must be felt and dealt with. Secrets we would only confess and trust in one another.

I confessed I had reconnected and in unexpectedly fallen in love with a man, 9,000 miles away whom I had known since I was five years old.

“Wow, wow, this is a movie!” A cliché I’ve never heard Ada say; she meant it. I looked down into my drink and knew what she would say, though she greatly approved and spoke in length at her amazement at how everything in life is ultimately connected – and this was continued proof of her theory; I knew what she was going to say, again. “You have too much going on right now. You first, Melli. Everything else, in time.”

But what if I don’t have time? Stumbled into sunshine, the roads still wet with rain, cars zipping by, sunlight blinding the drivers. Ada stood in the middle of the road, staring at a car with a woman driving, squinting into the sun. Ada must have looked an angle or apparition.
"Do you think she can see me?"
"Ada, hurry!" I laughed, grabbing her arm.
The rain returned; I didn’t bother with my umbrella. Felt free with the rain in my hair.

I miss him.

We walked passed a family of refugees, well cared for.

I took a photo of an old house, occupied by anarchist, the most daring photo I ever took.

Maybe it was the mix of alcohol or because I was wearing my favorite black shirt Ada gave me. A man appeared on the roof and glared down at me, and I looked square back at him, in challenge. Having lived on Vatatzi Street for 7 years, I knew that game very well.
He turned away.
Ada was a little unnerved and I shook a little inside.

I told myself, as much as I am used to dangerous situations, I shouldn’t encourage it.

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